Today

Today, like every other day, I took the girls for a walk. Tony had Pixie & ArlaMae with him on errands, so it was just Rebecca, Mary-Gail, and me. We did our usual walk around the quiet neighborhood. All the kids who once greeted us were in school. Moms and Dads were at work. It was just us in our double stroller enjoying the bright sun and the crisp breeze.

It was this day, September 25th last year that I found out we were in trouble with our pregnancy. I mean really in trouble. I saw Dr. Glenn on Monday, September 17th after having a few intense contractions followed by bleeding. A vaginal exam proved that my cervix had shortened and was soft. How could this be? He ordered me to see Perinatology on Wednesday, September 19th and to be on bedrest. Perinatology confirmed Dr. Glenn's findings and so bedrest it was.

September 25th, 2006, was a Monday. I was bleeding again. I called JoJo and she said for me to come right in. I had worked at Dr. Glenn & Dr. Grover's office for a combined 4 years, so I knew about pregnancy and complications and such. I knew when to get scared and when something was "normal." When JoJo said for me to come right in, I thought she knew something that I didn't.

Dr. Glenn was gone on vacation, so his daughter, Dr. Julie Grover, was covering for him. My baby sister, Carly, was Dr. Grover's nurse. She was there through the examination. Dr. Grover said that I was dilated to 3 cm. She could see Twin A's head and the bag of water. I was only 18 wks pregnant. She admitted me to Labor & Delivery. I still remember having to be wheel-chaired out of the office, through the lobby full of gawking patients, and through the entire hospital to get to the 5th floor Labor & Delivery.

They put me in the Trendelenburg position (head down 45 degree angle) hoping gravity would help. This was all at 9:30 in the morning.

12:30 pm Dr. Grover came by accompanied with my Perinatologist Dr. Julie Gainer, and her ultrasound tech, Todd Provost. They did another ultrasound and couldn't see my cervix any longer. Twin A's head was so far into my pelvis that the image was just black.

Another vaginal examination proved the situation worsened: I was dilated to 5 cm and Twin A's head was very visible.

4:30 pm I was taken into surgery. Dr. Grover & Dr. Gainer performed a cervical cerclage - basically they stitched my cervix closed with a "purse stitch." The scary part was when they reviewed the possible complications. Death, infection, hemorrhage, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then she said, the bag of water is pierced, your membranes are ruptures, both babies will die...

Joanna's crying. Carly's crying. Mom's crying. Dadda's is shock. Tony is in absolute shock and pale and helpless. The earliest baby to survive after being born prematurely was at 23 weeks gestation. Sure, the kid survived, but what was his quality of life? My girls were 18 weeks. Nothing could save them. We needed a miracle. We all knew these facts. That's the good & the bad of being medically inclined.

I had the option of an epidural or general anesthetic. Are you kidding me? Just put me to sleep entirely - give me a double dose just to make sure I don't twitch or anything.

5:30 pm I come out of surgery. Dr. Grover is beaming. The miracle we prayed for had been answered. She and Dr. Gainer somehow manipulated Twin A backwards, little-by-little, careful not to catch the bag of water. Somehow, Twin A "pulled" her bag back with her. My cervix was thin, but somehow they managed to get a stitch in. Somehow this all happened. Somehow I was still pregnant...

Rebecca LaRae (Twin A) Mary-Gail Darleen (Twin B)

My little miracles

My next week was spent in the hospital on complete bedrest. Jo, CarCar, Mom came in early before work to wash my hair, help me with a sponge bath, change my hospital gown, change the bed sheets. Kristie came in and massaged my feet and legs. Dadda spent the next 5 nights with me taking care of me from the early evening through the night and through the mid-morning. Tony was overloaded with our home business - he was just grateful that my sis's and parents were here so he could make sure we'd be able to pay for my medical costs - somehow.

I told my family again and again there was NO WAY that I'd be able to do this if we still lived in Charleston, SC. NO WAY!! I needed them. They forfeited their own lives and families and work to spend their days with me in my pitiful, vulnerable, helpless state in the hospital on bedrest.

I was OK for the first 2 days in the hospital. But, on day 3, Wednesday, September 28th, I lost it...

...my story continues on Thursday, September 27th. Exactly one year from when "it all happened..."