Friday, November 26, 2010

Just how much do you wanna know?

This post is dedicated to the robot in my life...the da Vinci Surgical Robot. This hunk of metal combined with cutting edge technology, plus Dr. Jeffrey Thorpe, Dr. C. Joseph Glenn, and 8 other "proctor doctors," performed my surgery on Tuesday, November 16th. I was happily discharged on Wednesday, November 17th. I must say I am a little (a lot) wordy here, but there are pictures at the end, so that makes it worth the time to read! Plus, I made the front page news of the "Our Town" section B in our local newspaper! Go here to check that out. (click on the image tab and scroll through the photos)

One of the reasons why I opted for the robotic assisted laparoscopic hysterectomy, aside from being a good candidate, is because the recovering time is cut in half – instead of a 4-day hospital stay, it’s a day and a half; and instead of a 6-week recovery, it’s more like 4-weeks. I have 4 puncture wounds on my stomach instead of a searing 12 inch long horizontal cut across my abdomen. And I can sit up/stand up with out much assistance (I still have to do the "sideways roll," but I don’t have to worry about my guts falling out). I’m relieved the surgery is over and my recovering is well underway. And I had an experience earlier this week that helped me close the book and soften my feelings about the “why’s” I’ve had. What I know and feel is that I am grateful. Very, very, humbly grateful for my life, husband, and amazingly healthy, charming, beautiful, smart, happy and joyful daughters. I am full. Now get ready to read all about my surgery...

**Everything you wanted to know (and even stuff you didn't) about my robotic assisted laparoscopic hysterectomy...**

My awesome sister, Joanna, volunteered to have Becca & Mary-Gail sleep-over at her house Monday night, so Tony & I could have some time together and leave for the hospital early Tuesday morning w/o any hiccups. I packed an over-night bag for Becca & Mary-Gail, smothered them with kisses, and held them tightly. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold them for a long time after my surgery. I wouldn't be able to hold my own babies. The lump in my throat is swelling just thinking about that.

I packed myself an over-night bag also. But instead of including fun goodies for a hospital stay on Labor & Delivery & NICU like I had anticipated for sometime in May, my over-night bag was pitifully depressing. I threw my hair dryer and mouse in just to give the bag some weight and take up space. Tony & I stayed up talking late into the night - mostly Tony was speaking kind, reassuring words. I always have him tell me, "Everything will be OK," so I asked him to tell me that again and again - even though both of us knew this was going to change our lives forever.

4:45 am Tuesday morning came way too early and way too fast. I took a ridiculously long shower, dressed and climbed into a nice, toasty-warm car. Tony had been warming it up for our drive. We checked it, completed some paperwork, and waited for the admitting nurse to call me back. When she did I think all the blood drained from my face, because Tony very quickly took hold of me and wouldn't (thankfully) let me go. The nurse drew 3 vials of blood and she asked me to give a urine sample. What's the urine sample for? I asked. We need to make sure you're not pregnant. I laughed out loud - joke of all jokes. The nurse took Tony & me to the "holding room." I was to change into the hospital gown and put on the bright, yellow hospital sockies. I thought to myself, "and cover up this awesome pedicure I have? What a shame.

I gave my urine sample, changed, and was holding my emotions together - my facade hadn't crumbled yet - and then nurse needed me to sign a few more things. "This form is for your consent for surgery; and this form says you understand that you will be sterile after having a hysterectomy..." Lights out. Black splotches. Shaking hand. Terrible, terrible, terrible signature.

She left me and Tony alone. The facade crumbled slowly at first, and then came crashing down. Why did I have to sign a consent? Why did I have to sign my name to that stupid paper? I know why, but...why? I could care less about having stupid cancer. What I was really upset about was being "sterile." Today we were supposed to have an ultrasound to check my uterine lining and determine when my embryo transfer was going to be….but after today I wouldn’t have a uterus and there would be no embryo transfer.

It was time. I was wheeled down to the OR in my hospital bed. The OR nurse was Caroline (ooh - that was supposed to be the name of our next daughter - Caroline Joanna Kemp...). Caroline said she had been in on every one of the surgeries that had been performed with the use of the da Vinci robot, and not to worry - everything will be OK. Dr. Glenn came by to see me before surgery, and Dr. Thorpe was right behind him.They said they were almost ready. The nurse anesthetists started my IV and ran the antibiotics. I told him I wanted to see the robot before I was knocked out with the Versed. He and Caroline (I just love that name!) wheeled me into the OR room. Dr. Thorpe was smoothing out the wrinkles on the surgical bed- so nice of him - and while I waited to transfer myself to the bed, I beheld the da Vinci robot. It looked like a giant spider! And all I could think was, "This is the latest and greatest in medical technology. This is going to be awesome." And then the Versed hit me and I don't remember anything else.

The da Vinci (aka, "the giant spider")


I was told the surgery lasted 3 hours - from 7:30 am - 10:30 am. I didn't wake up until 12:20 pm: my blood pressure had plummeted. We're talking 54/40. I was given 2 bags of IV fluid during that 2 hour "intermission" and was on canula oxygen. It wasn’t until after 12:40 pm that I was transferred to my room, Room 323. Tony was there waiting. He looked relieved, which made me feel nervous - like, what do you know that I don't know - but then I learned that he'd been waiting in my room since 10:30 am. Poor thing.

By 3 am the next morning I was ready to get up and go for a walk. That's right - 3 o'clock in the morning. With the help of my nurse, I did the "old man shuffle" to the nurse’s station and then shuffled back. I was exhausted! Dr. Thorpe rounded at 8 am and said the surgery was successful: I had minimal blood loss, my uterus and cervix were removed intact, he felt that the cancer was contained to the cervix and uterus, and didn't see the need to remove any lymph nodes, but the pathology report would confirm the findings. Dr. Thorpe said my blood pressure was "interesting" and I agreed. The first part of October my blood pressure was running higher than normal for me (I attributed it to learning I had cervical cancer), and I believed that this significant drop in my blood pressure after surgery was due to my inability to continue my quest for more children through in-vitro fertilization. Dr. Thorpe said that I would most likely be discharged that day (Wednesday) if things went well. (Which was code for, among other things, if my BP could rise and my heart rate could drop {it was over 100 bpm}).

My IV and catheter were dc’d and I took a shower, did my hair, and after Tony arrived @ 10 am, I decided I should put on my makeup ("fancy word" for mascara & Chap stick). Tony said the Robot was in the lobby and I begged my nurse, Sara, to let me go down and see it. She got authorization from the Nurse Administrator and we three took the elevator to the lobby.

The da Vinci Robot was there; it was truly awesome. The da Vinci robot staff couldn’t believe that I had actually had surgery 24 hours earlier. They were amazed that I was up and I’m sure they were amazed that I was dressed and ready for the day (I know I was). I showed off my (4) ½ inch long slits in my belly, and everyone gathered round for a look. The local paper, The Daily Herald, was on sight doing a spotlight on the da Vinci Robot and I was questioned about my experience, what I thought of the robot, and how I was feeling. I was able to sit at the console and get a quick run-down on how the da Vinci operated. I practiced my surgical skills by using the robotic arms to pinch small rubber bands and move them from one small silicone cone to another. And my picture made front page news in the Local News, section B.

Before leaving the hospital my blood pressure had risen to 98/64 and my pulse had decreased from over 100 beats per minute to just 92 beats per minute. One might ask how I remember all these numbers and specifics of my care after surgery. And I remind them that, "I'm from a family of nurses. We talk about stuff like this at dinner. We remember all the little things because that's what nurses do." (And I write things like this down because I’m a mom of preemies and I’m neurotic).
These hospital gowns are so flattering...ugh, I already look swollen
Hee, hee, hee. It's 6:30 in the morning, and I'm having major surgery today
After Surgery
My awesome sisters, JoJo & CarCar! CarCar brought her twins, Quincy & Tenley, too.
Their visit & gift basket brightened the room and lifted my spirits
CarCar and Quincy
There's that swelling I was talking about. I had one bag of saline every hour for the first 8 hours before they knocked down the drip speed! Talk about dehydration - whooh


Wednesday morning, Timpanogos Regional Hospital Lobby. I'm talking with Rustin Beck, Business Development for Utah County's MountainStar Hospitals
Rustin Beck is giving me a run down on how the da Vinci operates
Slip your middle finger and thumbs into the finger pads and look into the view finder. A laser beam senses your head is engaged in the view finder, and gives you control over the da Vinci. Your hand movements operate the da Vinci's movements - you are in control of the robot and its movements at all times. Once your head pulls back from the view finder, the laser senses you are no longer engaged and will not allow you to move or manipulate the robot.
Image copied from Yahoo image search (da Vinci robot)


This is what I'm "operating" on: moving tiny rubber bands from one silicone cone to another.

And this is a depiction of how the da Vinci can perform a hysterectomy. I had 4 access sites and my uterus + cervix were intact (instead of morsilated) and were removed vaginally.
Image from Yahoo image search (da Vinci robot)


This is it, The da Vinci Robot
My hands are clasping the finger pads, and my head is engaged. The black console is the view finder, and what I'm looking at as I look into the view finder, is the silicone cones and tiny rubber bands. This is virtual reality at it's best!
No way! This is too cool!
Back in my hospital room, waiting to get discharged...
Along with my dropping blood pressure, and rising pulse, I had a fever of 100.5 after surgery. My nurses gave me a "goal" of doing 10 sets with my Incentive Spirometer (IS) every hour. They said the IS is the best way to deter pneumonia and to help reduce fevers. I was on that IS every hour. Slowly my fever began to decrease, and my bp increased. My pulse never did return to "normal," but it wasn't over 100 anymore. My final stats were: 98/62, 92 bpm, and my temp was 98.8. Good enough for a 12:45 pm discharge on Wednesday.

The IS is a lot harder than it looks. Sorry Dad, I gave you a hard time when you had to use the IS; now I understand it's not that easy, and can be a bit painful too. xoxo
One of my amazingly awesome nurses, Sara. Isn't she beautiful? She took great care of me, and was able to get authorization for me to leave the floor (with her and Tony) and go to the lobby for my rendezvous with da Vinci!
Oh, I just love my Incentive Spirometer
Me & Tony. He's been worried about me, but I think both of us can stop worrying. Tony has done a great job caring for me!
*** The Daily Herald ran an article on the da Vinci Robotic Surgical System on Thursday, November 18, 2010. Go to www.heraldextra.com or click here. My picture appeared in the paper - crazy! (Go to the "image" tab and scroll through the images)***


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

see my new project...


These felt roses are so cute!! And I've found a new application for them. I'm in the process of making this wreath. Go to The Pretty Poppy and get a tutorial for your new wreath. Felt Roses are so cute...on hair clips, headbands, broches, necklaces...and wreaths! I hope to have my wreath finished this Friday, since my body is not going to make it for Black Friday shopping this year.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Welcome to Holland

This clip comes from a book I read while Rebecca & Mary-Gail were struggling as 27-week micro-preemies in the NICU at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. I actually think the first time I read it was after we came home from McKay Dee Hospital in Logan, UT, with Mary-Gail from her heart surgery @ 11-days old (terrible experience!) I used this quote when I tried to explain to family what I was going through with Becca & Mary-Gail, their ridiculously early birth, their serious medical problems, and my henious roller-coaster of emotions. This quote explained what my experience of having preemies was like (and how the journey would be from then on). It pretty much summed up how I felt then; and I think it sums up how I feel now. The last 3 paragraphs speak what my heart feels.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
By: Emily Perl Kingsley
***While she was working on Sesame Street, someone asked her to explain what it was like to have a disabled child, and this is what she said***

What it feels like to have a critically ill newborn (or in my case now, having to face cancer and a hysterectomy when I was in the process of In-vitro Fertilization. My change from "Italy" to "Holland")

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Questions answered

My surgery is tomorrow morning. I should be nervous about the word ending in "-oma" but I'm not thinking about that. I should be worried about the surgery, but I'm not thinking about that either. What I'm really thinking - and what makes me hurt - is that with this hysterectomy I will be loosing my fertility forever; I will never have children again. It stings; it hurts; and I'm sad that this has happened now. Why? Why now? Can't this adenocarcinoma wait 9 months? Just give me this chance to be pregnant again...



Lovey & I were in process of In-vitro Fertilization again. I called the UofU, got on their calendar for the cryo-cycle, started the meds and was supposed to start Lupron on Sunday, October 24th. I'd have ultrasounds on Tuesday, November 16th & Tuesday, November 23rd to check my uterine lining, and then the embryo transfer would take place that following Wednesday (either November 17th or November 24th depending on the thickness of my uterine lining). The daily 10mg Progesterone intra-muscular shots (as thick as peanut butter or molasses - take your pick) would begin and continue for 12 weeks. I'd be on bed rest for 3 consecutive days following the transfer, and we'd know if we were pregnant on February 3rd - my mom's birthday! I had it all planned out, see, and I was on the calendar! The calendar! After 2 years of me and Tony talking about this, having a consultation and exam, declining a super awesome job opportunity because we were going to get pregnant, postponing the IVF processes for a year, having another consultation and exam the following year, seeing a perinatologist about my cervix and his 2nd opinion for a cerclage at 12 weeks (and bed rest after that), we were finally in the process! And on the calendar! Now I'm on a different kind of calendar - one for a hysterectomy, which will be tomorrow, Tuesday, November 16th.


I met with the Gynecologic Oncologist, Dr. Andrew Soisson, on Monday, October 25th. I pulled the pathology report from my biopsies and did some research before my appointment. The more I know, the more comfortable I am - regardless if it's good or bad information. I realized this with my dad's aneurysm, 2 open-heart surgeries, and Becca & Mary-Gail's 3-month stay in the NICU. Once I have all the facts presented to me, then and only then, will I disseminate the facts and determine what I am going to worry about and what I'm not going to worry about. However, even with my research I couldn't get the pathology results out of my mind: "...mitotic figures are very prominent...proliferation index {cell reproduction} is very high...best characterized as adenocarcinoma...no evidence of infiltration..."

I researched Dr. Soisson too - I wanted to understand his knowledge and experience with this type of cancer. He's the top dog in Utah. He works at the Huntsman Cancer Center {his address in SLC is "Circle of Hope," but after my appointment with him I didn't feel any hope}. We discussed my options: I could have more biopsies, removing more and more of my already compromised cervix, which would create serious complications for a cerclage, let alone maintaining a pregnancy; I could have a laser treatment, which has a 90% success rate. However, the cells on the internal part of the cervix are similar to hills and valleys - "rolling ridges" is how Dr. Soisson referred to them - and there is the possibility of missing the cancer cells on the slope of the "hill." Another treatment is to use a cream. Treating cancer with a cream? Are you serious? And then the final option...abdominal hysterectomy. Wait, what? I'm supposed to be putting embryos into my uterus and getting pregnant, not removing my uterus and going through menopause!


Very conflicted. And then Dr. Soisson said something I didn't want to hear. "Since you already have frozen embryos you can do surrogacy." Yeah, already thought of that. Actually, I investigated it 2 years ago; and then again last year; and then Tony & I talked about it some more and decided that because this would be our last pregnancy that I would carry the baby and confine myself to strict-bedrest. (BTW, Surrogacy is regulated by the FDA, which means the surrogate and her spouse/partner would be subjected to genetic testing, STD testing, and psychological testing for starters. Plus, Tony & I would be subject to psychological testing too. The price tag for all this testing is $10,000! The embryo transfer is $3,000 and then the meds are an additional $2,000 - $4,000. After all that, surrogates usually receive payment starting at $12,000 upwards of $40,000.


I researched my options, again. Brought home the Taber's Medical Dictionary from work so I could look up words I didn't understand and even those words I did. Wikipedia.com turned into my home-page. The cream option was a joke. The biopsies would preserve my fertility, but at what cost? I had 27-week twin micro-preemies. Could I handle having a 23-weeker? 24, 26? What if my pregnancy didn't even progress that far? Could I handle that? I volunteer at the NICU, and seeing the little babies covered in wires with tubes that feed them and machines that breathe for them; Seeing the bewildered and nervous parents; Not being able to hold your baby! (that was me and Mary-Gail. I was "lucky" with Becca - I was able to hold her 4 days after she was born). Not being able to hear your baby cry - Oh, I remember praying to Heavenly Father to just let me hear Mary-Gail cry. Let me hear her voice. I went to the NICU Tuesday, 10/26 & again on Tuesday, 11/9. I needed to go to see these little babies. To remind myself (not that I need reminding) but to re-live the trauma of micro-preemies and all the health problems associated with them. Could I have faith that the cervix I'd be left with, after having more biopsies, would be sufficient for a cerclage and pregnancy? And could I take a choice spirit from Heavenly Father, and knowingly make a choice that would impact this spirit's life forever? What about her progression though life? I would always feel guilt over being so selfish of wanting another baby that I threw caution to the wind, and now my beautiful child's life is limited - her experiences on earth have been limited because of me. No, I couldn't do that.


I still haven't come to terms with not having more children. I don't need to carry the child, or even birth the child (which is why checking into surrogacy wasn't a big dilemma for me). I learned a long time ago - 4 years ago to be exact -that carrying a child doesn't make you the mother; raising the child does. However, once I saw the determination on Tony's face that he would care for me, the girls, our home while I was on bed-rest, getting pregnant was all I wanted. Adoption? I would LOVE to adopt. International adoption is out of the question for us (I checked into that while we were still living in South Carolina). There cannot be a span of more than 10-years in the couples age; the couple cannot be over 50..and so on and so on. Adoption through LDS Social Services is very competitive. I have talked with the many women (who see the OB's I work for) who give their baby up for adoption; I know their perspective: they want their baby to go to a family that doesn't have any children. Private adoption is extremely expensive. So, I'm coming to grips that I will just have to adopt all the kids in my neighborhood and my church. Unless we're lucky, and a baby falls from the sky or is delivered to us by a stork.


Hysterectomy has a 98% success rate of eliminating the cancer, which means no chemotherapy or radiation therapy. I'll have some lymph nodes removed during the surgery so pathology can check them for cancer cells. The hope is that they will come back negative, and the pathology from my uterus will have "clear margins" (the cancerous areas haven't reached the edge/margin of my uterus & cervix). Clear margins mean the cancer hasn't spread; once it's gone, it's gone. And so are my hopes of having more children.


I'm morning the loss of a dream, a hope, an intense desire to have more children. A 2-year old desire (and that's not an exaggeration). I still have 6 embryos frozen from our 1st "fresh" cycle when we did IVF in 2006. It's amazing really, that we even did IVF. I didn't have any fertility issues myself; my husband had a vasectomy 18 years ago, and a reversal was out of the question (2% chance of sperm if we did the reversal). So we did IVF instead - ICSI (intra cytoplasmic sperm injection). On 6/6/2006, we extracted 22 eggs from me, 18 of which were perfect for fertilization. All eggs were a grade B+ or better and were fertilized by ICSI; 13 eggs fertilized, divided and multiplied into the blastocyst stage; 2 were implanted in me (which resulted in my perfect daughters, Becca and Mary-Gail!). We had 11 embryos left. 5 were lost due to over-fertilization/multiplication, and the remaining 6 were frozen for later use. We had hoped to use them this October.


Perhaps this is more information that I should knowingly disclose, but I feel that if I don't share this, then no one will know what a struggle this is for me, and why the timing is so ironic. Some might say this is a blessing that the cancer was discovered as a result of me going through the IVF process, and I can see their point. I just can't understand "why" it's a blessing right now. It's a struggle. And it will continue to be a struggle as I morn for a time. I'm changing how I handle things like this, and instead of pushing people away (like I typically do), I'm hoping that you will morn with me: "...morn with those that morn; comfort those that stand in need of comfort..." Please pray for me. I know my hardest days are yet to come, and I'm scared of coming home from the hospital - because then I will know that I'm done.

Guess who gets to sleep over?

My other set of twins!!! Carly and her babies are in town for two weeks for my parents' wedding (tomorrow), Thanksgiving (Thurs, Nov 25th), and Becca & Mary-Gail's #4 b-day (Saturday, Nov 27th). When Carly confirmed the dates she'd be here, I told her I wanted her babies. I was hoping to have Tenley and Quincy this whole weekend, but Car's arrival date was pushed back to this evening. No matter - I patiently waited for her to arrive (Jo, Mom & Reese met Car & Spencer 1/2 way); I met Carly @ Jo's house, gave her a quick hello and hugs, and snatched my babies for the night. Carly gave me the run-down: what to expect, how to get them to sleep, how much Tenley & Quincy drink; and she kept asking me if I was sure about taking them. Of course I'm sure! My surgery is this Tuesday and after that, I won't be able to hold/carry anything. I am definitely sure...In fact, I was hoping to keep them through Tuesday morning, but one night will have to do. (All these photos are either from May or June 2010)


Me & Quincy Joanna - taken May 2010 when I flew down to help Carly after their birth.
I don't have any pictures like this of me and my girls...
Tenley Magnolia
Carly & I did an impromptu photo shoot: I brought Becca & Mary-Gail's dress-up tutu's, their giant flower clips, snagged a mattress sheet from Carly's linen closet, and viola!
Quincy (pink); Tenley (purple)
Tenley
The last time I saw these girls they were itty-bitty babies. Carly came to Utah in June and stayed at my Dad's house. Lucky for me I only live a mile away and could spend the afternoons and a few nights there to help out (thanks again, Lovey, for being so understanding). It was fun to listen to Carly explain Tenley and Quincy's personalities, who does what, how to get who to sleep & eat. I remember those days - trying to get my family to learn the tricks on how to care for Becca & Mary-Gail. I'll never forget when I was explaining things to my mom and dad when they were going to care for Becca & Mary-Gail; My dad turned to my mom and said, "It's as if we've never done this before, Rebecca." OK, I know they have (7 times), but a new mom is always so exact with everything!

Ahh, Quincy is so sweet in my arms; and Tenley is just hanging out
A tired mom, feeding & holding her twins while talking on the phone/texting...
...yep! I've done this before
I love my sisters and ALL their babies
Hooray! The twins are here (X2)
Becca & Mary-Gail (just before swim lessons) @ Pappy's house to see Carly & her babies
And on another visit to Pappy's house, Pappy dished them up a little ice cream.
Another Hooray!
Can you tell them apart? Who is who?
Tenley (L); Quincy (R)
We took Carly to a movie -the first one she'd seen since the girls were born and being on bed rest. 5 months of bed rest!! Ouch!

Rebecca & Mary-Gail have already devoured Tenley & Quincy (Pixie and ArlaMae have sniffed them, sadly realizing that these are babies, which means more of mine and Lovey's attention will be diverted from Pixie & Arla). Becca & Mary-Gail have reminded me like a hundred times that "Baby Tenley slept over at our house last time." (While Carly was here in June I stole Baby Tenley for the night. It was awesome! I wanted both babies, but JoJo already had dibs on Baby Quincy). I told Tony I could definitely do another set of twins - easy as pie. Now I just need a uterus...anyone? anyone? Please pray for me on Tuesday.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Funeral at 2

Last Thursday, November 4th, I went to my childhood neighbor's funeral. Lola Robinett, 88 years old. When Lola passed, her cousins called upon the Bishop to help with the funeral services. Bishop knew he could count on the Brown Family to help: Dad gave Lola's eulogy, Josh spoke,and I said the closing prayer.

Attending Lola's funeral brought a flood of emotions that I wasn't ready to deal with. Mortality, accountability, for my time here on earth, stewardship over what I have and have been blessed with, and other thoughts flooded my mind, and as I offered the closing prayer, my eyes were flooding and I was struggling - for me. The first part of October I was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma, stage 1B cancer.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Becca at the Dentist!

Becca went to the Dentist on Wednesday! This visit was more than the silly 'happy' visit she & Mary-Gail had last year: we actually got her teeth x-rayed, scrubbed, and flossed. (Mary-Gail's appointment is next Wednesday). Becca was so happy to be at the dentist. When one of the dental assistants came to get a patient, Becca ran up to her and tugged on her scrub top and said, "Dentist, dentist, I have a lost tooth." Becca had everyone in the waiting room smiling with her cuteness.

In preparation to our dental appointment, we've been reading The Little Critter's book, Just Going to the Dentist, by Mercer Mayer and Dora the Explorer's, Show me Your Smile. Becca & Mary-Gail loves The Little Critter books. The dentist room "looks like a spaceship" and there is a "super critter x-ray machine." both the books do a great job explaining who the dentist is, why we have to see one, and what happens if there are sugar bugs that eat our teeth.


When Becca's dental assistant, Miss Annie, came to get us, Becca grabbed hold of her hand and walked with her down to the room. Becca got on the chair just like The Little Critter and Dora did, and Miss Annie gave her a ride up and down. I told Miss Annie that I wanted to get a good picture of Becca's teeth to make sure there is a permanent tooth in Becca's bottom jaw. {See, Becca was born with a tooth! (Crazy since she was born at 27-weeks - 13 weeks early!) The NICU Ear, Nose, and Throat doc came by and sure enough, he confirmed that Becca had a bottom tooth. He flicked it out with his gloved finger, and our NICU nurse saved it for us}.
Miss Annie took us down to the panoramic x-ray machine. Becca was such a good little patient! She was excited to have everyone's attention (even the patients who were already in the dental chair getting their teeth cleaned, craned their necks to see who belonged to the excited, little angel voice). Becca sat in the chair, Miss Annie adjusted the chin rest, and Becca bit on the plastic stick. When I told her to "freeze!" she did so, and put her hands up in the "freeze" pose. Miss Annie laughed and laughed!

The Panoramic X-ray machine
"Super critter X-ray"
Miss Annie helps adjust the chin rest and bite piece


Becca's a little nervous...okay, she's a lot nervous, but she held still just the same

Miss Annie took us back to the room, and gave Becca 3 choices for the toothpaste she was going to use to clean Becca's teeth: cherry, mint, or bubblegum. Becca didn't even let Miss Annie finish: "Oooh, I l o v e cherry!" Miss Annie clipped on Becca's plastic bib, gave her another ride in the dental chair, and Becca settled right in. Miss Annie explained the tools: one shot water (and Becca got a shot of water in her mouth); one sucked up the water (Becca let Miss Annie put it in her mouth and sucked up the remaining water/saliva); one spinned in a super, fast circle and it tickled Becca's hand as Miss Annie pressed it against Becca's hand; the last tool counted Becca's teeth: 9 on the bottom and 10 on the top!

Becca LOVES cherry toothpaste!
All Done!
Look at those pearly white teeth! So beautiful and clean!!
Becca didn't have any cavities! That was such so super-duper good news. Plus, when the dentist came in he confirmed that Becca's x-rays showed that there was a permanent tooth in the missing spot on Becca's bottom gum. And I was relieved at that news too! Miss Annie kept saying she was so shocked that Becca's teeth were cleaned, and when she got the floss out, Becca loudly announced, "Hey, that's floss. We have floss out our home. I love floss!" Miss Annie couldn't believe that Becca knew what floss was; she said most kids don't know about floss, let alone a 4-year old. Becca got some fluoride painted on her teeth, and then we were done! I told the dentist and Miss Annie that we'd see them in 6 months, and Becca repeated (in a much louder voice), "See you in 6-months Mr. Dentist and Miss Annie!"

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Lovey celebrates a birthday, October 10th

Lovey's sister, DarDar + husband, Mark, invited us + Jack & Carol up for supper to celebrate Lovey's birthday. We hustled home from Thanksgiving Point, (see earlier post), got Becca & Mary-Gail situated with AmyCakes, and then turned around and headed back up north to DarDar's house. We visited for a while and then Jack+Carol & Mark+DarDar gave Lovey his b-day presents & cards. DarDar made a ginormous, everything-from-scratch-homemade 2-layer carrot cake. It looked amazing! And what did I do for my Lovey? Nothing. The gift I got for him still hadn't arrived, and I was just going to make a pitiful cake from a box. Thank goodness Lovey's sister and brother are super wonderful and made his day special. I'm seriously lacking in the "homemaking skills department." That's OK; I gave Lovey something that no one else could give him. :)

We went to supper at Texas Roadhouse, and it was d e l i c i o u s. Cinnamon butter on pipping hot rolls. Ummm. Mark & DarDar treated us - so generous! - and then the waiters/waitresses came out with a dessert for Lovey and a horse saddle for him to sit on while they sang to him. Lovey completely took everyone by surprise when he saddled-up and rode the saddle like it was a rodeo bull trying to buck him off. Crazy!!!

We adjourned back to DarDar's house for a giant slice of her carrot cake. And oh my gosh! It was so, so, so good. So good! I'm definitely requesting a carrot cake from DarDar for my birthday next year!

Mark & DarDar were nice and only put one candle on the cake...
...a tombstone candle

And Lovey still had the lung capacity to blow it out. j/k

********************************************************
My gift to Lovey finally arrived on Saturday, October 16th. Rebecca & Mary-Gail were more excited about opening the present/box than Lovey was. Mary-Gail came running into the bedroom with a knife to open the box (yes, she was running with a knife - a butter knife).


Two birthday videos (nevermind Mary-Gail as she slices through her toes with the dulled butter-knife)
Lovey got all new Glock wear...


...I think he was really happy with all his presents. Happy birthday Lovey

Kemp Kuties on the Charleston Pier

Kemp Kuties on the Charleston Pier
September 2007